that sacred bolt of lightning

[theholyinnocent]

Via lagringa: The Bad Sex Awards are back.

Comments

[old-wp.livejournal.com]

Holy hell!

The blue veins are divine

[theholyinnocent.livejournal.com]

I try to think of this as a primer of What NOT to Do When Writing Porn.

[godessillyria.livejournal.com]

"He raised himself to his knees and bent to roll his tongue around her weeping orifice"

I believe with a series of antibiotics that little problem might be taken care of.

I'm off to throw up my lunch.

[theholyinnocent.livejournal.com]

Ha! Yes, it does sound like a classic case of the clap. Traumatic, isn't it?

[noir-moll.livejournal.com]

What is it with politicians and smut? I guess Alistair Campbell learned nothing from Scooter Libby's foray into porny prose.

And two words I never again want to see next to each other: weeping orifice.

[theholyinnocent.livejournal.com]

Yeah, Jesus...I'm not sure why they think they are qualified to write anything, let alone porn. Who wants to read smut by someone who calls himself "Scooter"?

Man, my orbs are weeping at the thought of a weeping orifice...gah.

[badtyler.livejournal.com]

"The blue veins are divine."

Now that's a remark I generally save for a good chunk of Gorgonzola.

Onion soup and hybrid sex... and they sneer at femslash?

Jesus Case.
Knut wants to add: "SnorfleBAD"!

[theholyinnocent.livejournal.com]

Now that's a remark I generally save for a good chunk of Gorgonzola.

Hahahaha...yes! Or if you are a nurse looking to do an IV. But not...that.

SNORFLEBARF!

[badtyler.livejournal.com]

I'm thankful that blue cheese of any kind is generally not included on Turkey Day menus.
It could be a while before I can eat it again without snorfling. Loudly.
*g*

[raginhoops.livejournal.com]

If I wasn't a big ol' Lezzie before, I soft coil of excrement would push me over the fence.

[theholyinnocent.livejournal.com]

I know! It reminded me of this penis description in The Group--I think McCarthy described the male member as a "fat worm" and it was just like, damn, Mary McCarthy, are you trying to make all your female readers gay?

a not I

[raginhoops.livejournal.com]

That will teach me to read the post before I hit the key.

[phryneateleusis.livejournal.com]

I must say that every year the Plaster Foot awards swing around, I feel thankful for having wandered the desolate wilds of fandom for a while: it inured to me this kind of terrible description.

[theholyinnocent.livejournal.com]

O Sweet Netherlips of Dewy Love!

[phryneateleusis.livejournal.com]

Sad part is, that's probably a direct quote.

[lonejaguar.livejournal.com]

Good lord. How does this pass editing? I mean really, aren't editors supposed to help this not happen? Though I these people getting published makes us lowly neophyte writers feel a little bit of hope for the future ;)