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like cleats to the chest
Jul. 13th, 2010 10:30 amThe Cynic Who is Wizened (![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
wizened_cynic) posted this horrible meme thing (horrible, I tell you! So horrible I couldn't resist) that tells you which famous writer you most resemble style-wise. (Can you imagine doing this for sex? Answer a few prurient questions and you get a result like "I fuck like...Madame de Pompadour!" "I fuck like...David Duchovny after seven glasses of wine!")
So I plugged in some text from one of my stories, the conclusion of Coup de Grace. And got this:
This is like telling me I'm retarded. Was it because the section in question mentioned Italy? Does the thing think I'm trying to recreate The Da Vinci Code? Now I have an idea: Mel and Janice meet the Illuminati. Mel would solve the Da Vinci code in 5 minutes flat, Janice would steal one of the Pope's mitres, you know she can't resist a good hat, they have sex in the Sistine Chapel, THE END. Thank you.
Then I had the thing analyze a bit from "Memory Extant," one of my first SVU stories, a section that includes Olivia in a dyke bar and the phrase "fucked up," and I get this:
A section from "Nightclub," an SVU/BG ficlet, yielded this:
The beginning of "Love and Death in the Trailer Park" gave me this:
Which seems rather spot on, I admit.
The Cynic's various writing samples yielded similar scattershot opinions. I might have been better off asking Paul the Octopus:
"Don't call my name, don't call my name, holyinnocento! I'm not your babe, I'm not your babe, it's Esperanto!"
Wait. Wrong octopussy. Here's Paul:
"You write like the Netherlands...kind of orangey and like soccer cleats to the chest. Does that help?"
Now that sounds about right. Thank you, Paul!
wizened_cynic) posted this horrible meme thing (horrible, I tell you! So horrible I couldn't resist) that tells you which famous writer you most resemble style-wise. (Can you imagine doing this for sex? Answer a few prurient questions and you get a result like "I fuck like...Madame de Pompadour!" "I fuck like...David Duchovny after seven glasses of wine!") So I plugged in some text from one of my stories, the conclusion of Coup de Grace. And got this:
This is like telling me I'm retarded. Was it because the section in question mentioned Italy? Does the thing think I'm trying to recreate The Da Vinci Code? Now I have an idea: Mel and Janice meet the Illuminati. Mel would solve the Da Vinci code in 5 minutes flat, Janice would steal one of the Pope's mitres, you know she can't resist a good hat, they have sex in the Sistine Chapel, THE END. Thank you.
Then I had the thing analyze a bit from "Memory Extant," one of my first SVU stories, a section that includes Olivia in a dyke bar and the phrase "fucked up," and I get this:
A section from "Nightclub," an SVU/BG ficlet, yielded this:
The beginning of "Love and Death in the Trailer Park" gave me this:
Which seems rather spot on, I admit.
The Cynic's various writing samples yielded similar scattershot opinions. I might have been better off asking Paul the Octopus:
"Don't call my name, don't call my name, holyinnocento! I'm not your babe, I'm not your babe, it's Esperanto!"
Wait. Wrong octopussy. Here's Paul:
"You write like the Netherlands...kind of orangey and like soccer cleats to the chest. Does that help?"
Now that sounds about right. Thank you, Paul!
