the oracle of lo - fi

{Photo by MurphyZero, from flickr's Obama Steet Art pool.

Voting this morning was not nearly as traumatic as I thought it would be; the local news was reporting lines and crowds at polling sites all over the city. So we schlepped over to our polling place, P.S. Whatevah, and was relieved to see no lines out the doors.

Inside, though, it was a different scene. Packed. I had never seen so many people there at one time, and was glad that the missus had insisted we get coffee first, because otherwise I would have been "freakin' and tweakin.'" Resigned to our fates, we got in the line to find out which district's machine we needed to wait for. That only took about 5-10 minutes. So we went over to wait in the line for our voting district and there were...

...three people ahead of us. So either our district is really lame, or voted really early, or will vote much later. Other districts had a good 30+ or so people in line, with some lines going out the doors into the hallways. By the time we were done voting and were on our way out, the overall line was beginning to stretch outside the building. We were lucky. But to punish me for my good fortune, fate chose to bestow upon me THE WORST BAGEL EVER. I'm happy to take one for the team, though, just like Hills!:



I know that a lot of you won't be so lucky, though, and will endure long waits--although I certainly hope that's not the case. But to those of you who have yet to vote, chins up, sweeties: We're making history. Let's do it.

Best things about Hillary's speech:

1. Bill getting verklempt. Awwww. Sure, he was chatting up a random female just before Hills went on, but you know he still loves his old lady.

2. Astonishing proof that a white person can wear an orange pantsuit. Or, judging by Michelle Obama's facial expressions throughout, perhaps not. Or maybe it was regret on Michelle's part: Why didn't I wear the orange last night? I rock the orange!

Oh, the speech itself was pretty good. Really! Kaith Olbermann says so!

And now onto matters more pressing than the future of the country: I ate a broccoli knish for lunch that was so dry it scratched my throat! Thank heavens this did not happen Monday, during the homicidal heights of PMS. I always tip my hat to sneaky PMS; so insidiously does it corrupt your moods that you aren't aware of how awful you behaved or felt until the bleeding commences. So it's like, oh, this is why I wanted to kill my boss yesterday! And why I wanted to throw my laptop across the room last night! And why I wanted to crush the windpipe of the person on the A train who was talking too loudly over my head...

Moving on again: As many of you know, Baby is old. You know this because I complain about stuff, and that's what old people do, and also because cabenson keeps reminding you how old I am. So perhaps you will not believe me when I tell you that I once watched an episode of Gossip Girl. It was quite accidental, I assure you. But there was nothing on and suddenly Mrs. & I found ourselves looking at young people pouting prettily and stalking through elegant-looking manses. We felt as if we were in a live version of all the Ralph Lauren ads from Vanity Fair. We marveled at this spectacle, in large part because all the boys seemed preternaturally gay. Super gay. Uber gay. Gayer than Fire Island transported to San Francisco in the middle of Pride Week.

So imagine my lack of surprise when I discover that the gayest-looking boy of the bunch, so sleek and feline and haughty that you can't decide if you want to smack him then screw him or vice versa writes bad poetry. This definitely makes me want to smack him. Perhaps take him over my knee and pound on his bony little behind and then, just when he starts whimpering for mercy, I shall make him wear something from Wal Mart. It would have to be a poly-cotton blend T-shirt that says SUPPORT OUR TROOPS and a pair of khakis with pleats. Thus attired, he will have to film several episodes of Gossip Girl. It could be an amazing story arc of fashion tragedy.

Tyranny, in a word, is a farce got up for the entertainment of poor human nature; and it might pass very well, if it did not so often turn into a tragedy.

~ William Hazlitt, from "On the Spirit of Monarchy"

[Image from Magnolia Pictures, No End in Sight]

p.s. On strike tomorrow!

In the name of God, do your duty.

I had other things to say, but have since forgotten them...this is what happens when you're old, kids.

There's a good article in the recent New York Review of Books on Bush's blatant abuse of the legislative and constitutional powers that, normally, provide essential checks & balances to keep the presidency from turning into a monarchy. It involves Dumbass's use of a wonderdrous thing called a signing statement:

The press took little notice until Bush, on January 5 of this year, after signing a bill containing the McCain amendment, which placed prohibitions on torture, quietly filed a separate pronouncement, a "signing statement," that he would interpret the bill as he wished. In fact Bush had been issuing such signing statements since the outset of his administration. The Constitution distinguishes between the power of the Congress and that of the president by stating that Congress shall "make all laws" and the president shall "take care that the laws be faithfully executed." Bush claims the power to execute the laws as he interprets them, ignoring congressional intent....For five years, Bush has been issuing a series of signing statements which amount to a systematic attempt to take power from the legislative branch. Though Ronald Reagan started issuing signing statements to set forth his own position on a piece of legislation, he did it essentially to guide possible court rulings, and he only occasionally objected to a particular provision of a bill. Though subsequent presidents also issued such statements, they came nowhere near to making the extraordinary claims that Bush has; nor did they make such statements nearly so often.

And how many laws has Bush ignored in all these years? 750, the article says.

The most frightening bit is near the end; it suggests that this presidency has set a dangerous precedent for future leaders to continue in the same vein. And I know many of us think that after Bush it can't possibly get any worse, but y'know, after Reagan I thought it couldn't get any worse, and look where we are now.

The evil, lying, walking turd known as the President will be inciting nationwide Vomit in the Mouth Syndome (VIMS) with an appearance on the t00b tonight to justify the blood on his hands. Again. Break a leg, asshole.

But let's look some politicians with some common sense.

Crank the speakers: Asshole.

Posted yesterday. From James Wolcott's site:

"I am preparing myself for either outcome today. Should Kerry win, I will post an important statement called 'A Time for Healing,' or something equally noble-sounding. Should Bush win, I shall post a statement of philosophical resignation tentatively titled 'Good, Go Ahead, America, Choke on Your Own Vomit, You Deserve What You Get.' The latter will probably require a little more tweaking."

The u2 ipod is pretty pretty pretty. Ooooh, pretty. So pretty I'm squirming, like I do when Benson whips out her gun or Cabot whips off her glasses. Ooooh, oooh, oooh. [/mervgriffin]

And more ruminations about Bush, or, TehHoly's Theory du Jour:

Yesterday in The New York Times I'm flipping through an article on undecided voters. I've always been puzzled at hearing polls stating that women voters do not seem to be drawn toward Kerry as they have been to other Dem presidential candidates (Clinton, of course, and even Mr. Roboto himself, Gore). Anyway, in this article, they quote a woman who talks about how hard it is for poor Bushie to be pres, and that the poor dear is trying to do his best...and I realize: She feels sorry for him.

Is that the thing with women voters and Bush? (Oh, I know it's also a "we want a president who will keep our families safe"--yeah, so let's pick the moron who starts an unprovoked war, right?) It brings out some sort of warped mother instinct? Will it result in the electoral equivalent of a pity fuck? Women, please! Get a grip! Prove me wrong, babies!

This past Sunday The Philadelphia Inquirer posted an editorial that details why the paper supports Kerry for president. Normally I don't think of the Inky as being a bastion of the "liberal press," but I was pleasantly surprised by the strident, uncompromising tone of it. (If you want to read it, go to the lj-cut below.)

Plus the local paper of Crawford, Texas (stomping grounds of you-know-who) supports Kerry as well! Sadly, the editor of that paper is getting death threats and cancelled subscriptions. I hope the Inky editors are faring better.

Will this chink in the vast wall of mainstream media stupidity change voters' minds, or is it too late?

( Wake the Fuck Up, America )