"you are destined for notsogreat and unfortunate TV shows..."

[theholyinnocent]

Today as I was ordering a salad for lunch, I forgot the word crouton. I kept thinking, cube, croissant! as I floundered verbally, and finally had to point at the crouton box at the salad bar for the benefit of the guy who was making my salad. Of course, now I am convinced I have early stage Alzheimer's and if I am eating jello in an institution in 6 months you'll say you knew me when. Or you'll say, "what's the diff, THI?"

Anyway.

A faithful reader sent me a link to this:

So 300 + Gladiator x slow-mo blood + scene-chewing actors + gratuitous nudity + implied lesbianism = New Sam Raimi/Rob Tapert project. Of course, Lucy Lawless is in it and she's supposed to get naked (with or without...a pube wig...I'm thinking, what the hell kind of crazy landing strip does she have down there?) so of course I'm screwed and I have to watch the stupid thing.

Comments

[thelastgoodname.livejournal.com]

I've been doing that for years; I blame, in order, grad school and television, with a side order of "did you know most English-speakers employ 50,000 different words on regular basis? That's insane!"

Which means if you want to keep intersectionality and heteronormative, you have to give up regular access to crouton and congeal (which I forgot briefly yesterday).

[theholyinnocent.livejournal.com]

That makes me feel a bit better. Oh, I'd trade intersectionality and heteronormative in a heartbeat, particularly if I could get cheeto and flapjack. (Can you tell the baseball trade deadline looms?)

[thelastgoodname.livejournal.com]

You should've held out for cheeto, flapjack, and two adjectives to be named later. (Isn't that just the way of fans, second-guessing everything?)

[theholyinnocent.livejournal.com]

I've been in a state of agita because Wang is out for the season, we need another starter, but of course I don't want to trade anyone of worth for a good pitcher....the way of the fan also includes delusion.

[noir-moll.livejournal.com]

So 300 + Gladiator x slow-mo blood + scene-chewing actors + gratuitous nudity + implied lesbianism = New Sam Raimi/Rob Tapert project.

But will there be a "snails and oysters" scene, I wonder?

[theholyinnocent.livejournal.com]

Maybe if they coax Gore Vidal out of retirement...

[mantaraggio.livejournal.com]

Hahah, does anyone even have Starz? I didn't even think that channel still existed. I've had many TV obsessed friends and none of them have ever paid for Starz. I thought it was a premium movie channel? Are they getting into the original series business now? I guess they figured if Showtime could do it badly, so could they.

Wow. So, where does this theory about Lucy's pubes come from? Are there advance promo shots or something? (A girl can dream, can't she?)

This show looks terrible. That slow motion blood thing was only half cool the first time, but if you use it over and over and over and over... I mean, really now. Get more than one effect, you guys.

[theholyinnocent.livejournal.com]

Hey, I thought you were napping...

I didn't even think that channel still existed.

Neither did I! And yes, they're going to make Showtime look like the BBC at this rate. The show looks shockingly derivative. I know they have to make it appeal to a certain audience, but...gah.

The pube thing is from imdb. (http://us.imdb.com/title/tt1442449/news#ni0900885)

[softeranswer.livejournal.com]

I forgot the word crouton. I kept thinking, cube, croissant!
i have no idea why, but i find this hilarious.

cube.

lolz.

[theholyinnocent.livejournal.com]

It's a toasty little cube! Honestly, I wanted to say that.

[psimilarity.livejournal.com]

Since I'm so much older than you I can report -- you're on the slippery slope now, my dear. It's annoying as fuck but there you have it. And anyway, it is a toasty little cube.

[theholyinnocent.livejournal.com]

And so delicious too!

Oh, fuck. I was hoping I had a few good years left.

[dathon.livejournal.com]

forgot the word crouton

I do that all the time. Especially if I'm tired or stressed. You absolutely should have called it a toasty little cube. Somehow I've developed the habit of spitting out nonsense syllables and flailing my hands to compensate. I'm particularly fond of substituting the word "boinger" as a catch-all, too.

what the hell kind of crazy landing strip does she have down there?

::snort::

[theholyinnocent.livejournal.com]

Boinger! Ha! At first I read that as "booger"...yes, dear, the eyes are going too, damn it!

[adastranot.livejournal.com]

Well honestly, could it be worse than Vampire Bats? No. And I know you watched that so there's a win right there. RT and his homoerotique leather fetish shall rise again!

Today I was joking with some coworders about how I was clearly a polymath for some reason or other but right when I was about to say it, the word was gone. Instead I was like, 'Yeah, I'm one of those, um, hmmm..those old timey people who are really good at everything, what's the word?'. Polymathic fail.

[theholyinnocent.livejournal.com]

You're right, nothing could be worse than Vampire Bats. And at least she's supposed to be naked; it could be her finest moment as an actor. God damn that woman and her idiot husband, luring me in again!

We are those old-timey people now, aren't we, darling? The other day Mrs. called me an autodidact. She says it's almost as good as being a polymath!

[return2zero.livejournal.com]

Starz?
*sigh*
Yet another show I'll have to watch at the computer / wait for dvd.
(Looks f'n AMAZING though!)
Does this mean Rob gave up on Legend of the Seeker? (Must check website.)
*sigh again*
And I thought my attention span was short.


Oooh, shiny.

[theholyinnocent.livejournal.com]

Yes, I'll have to watch it on the computer too.

I think Legend of the Seeker is up for a new season...I saw some scuttlebutt about some girl-on-girl kissing in the new season. Damn, Tapert really does have a lesbian/leather fetish. Kinky bastard, no wonder she's still married to him.

[return2zero.livejournal.com]

I'm still waiting for LotS to come out on dvd (got it in my netflix queue).

LOL
Rob and lesbianism. I can only imagine what goes on behind R&L's closed (bedroom) doors!!

[maroukian.livejournal.com]

croutons are over-rated, and difficult to spear with a fork.

[theholyinnocent.livejournal.com]

But I like having a crunchy texture in a salad sometimes; it's a nice contrast to the lettuce and the veggies and whatnot.

[scarimor.livejournal.com]

My brain lost a good chunk of its memory capacity each time I gave birth, I reckon. My substitute word of chioce whenever it fails me is "dubri". My friends and I use that rather a lot. And croutons - nice until they get sogy, which they do far too fast.

That "Blood and Sand" epithet (is that the right word? Probably not) for Spartacus makes me lol. The cliche quota is wallowing close to sardonic right there. Tapert's fetishes for leather, slow-mo and girl-snogs... ha!

[theholyinnocent.livejournal.com]

My brain lost a good chunk of its memory capacity each time I gave birth

That's a good theory. I'm the youngest of three, and by the time I was born my mother was so brain dead she asked my grandmother to name me.

The whole enterprise is rather dubious, but I guess Tapert is lucky that his fetishes are attuned to those of so many others!

[leavethesky.livejournal.com]

I don't have your sordid past with The Lawless, which is a blessing and a curse. The blessing: I see images of a half-naked LL and think, 'it's time to re-read The Secret Histories' rather than 'oh fuck, I have to watch some terrible fucking show for maybe thirty seconds of LL a week'. The curse: no sordid past with LL to mutter about (soused) at a dyke bar.

[theholyinnocent.livejournal.com]

You have no idea! ::sob:: I even watched her in...TARZAN! Where she played Tarzan's AUNT. And vividly I remember a scene in that where she was wearing these lovely silk pajamas and, oh my...::sob:: Just pass me a drink, will you?

[lonejaguar.livejournal.com]

Heather makes the best toasted bread cubes ever.

And now I'm just interested in the pube wig because... wow. H thinks she's gone Brazilian ;)

[theholyinnocent.livejournal.com]

I suspect H. is right...In the meantime I just have to wonder how it will all go down while they film it. I can just picture someone shouting "PUBE WIG!" on set.