the gayest gay who has ever gayed

[theholyinnocent]

Because I am bored to the gills with work:

1. Dear Kirstie Alley: You're fat. But guess what? Like so many other fat women, you still look good. I KNOW, right? So get the fuck over it already and stop making shit TV shows about your fatness and try getting a real job.

2. Dear Ugly Betty: I'll kind of miss you even though you sucked a lot over the past couple seasons. Oh, hell, I won't really miss you. I'll miss Marc, Amanda, Halston, and Willi.

3. Missus had a birthday yesterday, and I fed her all the bad stuff she loves, like mac & cheese and a fab ice cream cake from the Chinatown Ice Cream Factory. Additionally she got gifts from me and money from relatives and, finally, to mark the grand day she bought herself a copy of Architectural Digest.

Why Architectural Digest, you ask? Well, a couple weeks ago we were watching Ellen, who was interviewing Gerard Butler, and we discovered what Gawker knew all along: That leaping Leonidas is actually the gayest gay who's ever gayed, because the whole interview consisted of him talking about this dude he travels with everywhere. You could tell that even Ellen was awed at the level of gay, because her eyes got rather saucer-shaped and she only half-heartedly trotted out the Jennifer Aniston question, which he shot down like nobody's bidness.

And so, this month, in full-color glory, Architectural Digest presents a porntastic spread on Gerard's "on the edge of Chelsea" loft apartment--because if you live on the "edge" of Chelsea, you're not really gay, even if you have a fabulous loft apartment!--which is a classic example of gay manly style that I love so much I want to be his hausfrau, even while it is eminently mockable (too many chandeliers, Gerard!). Such is our envy of the rich, my friends! How it twists us!

"So basically you bought the magazine just to make fun of Gerard Butler," I said to the Mrs.

"Best six dollars I've ever spent!" she crowed.

It has taken the place of honor in our bathroom reading stack.

Comments

[sandyosullivan.livejournal.com]

Yes. If you can't read about Gerard Butler on the toilet... wait, let me rephrase that...if you can't read about Gerard Butler while you're on the toilet where can you read about the bugger eh?

Yes. Kirstie Alley does seem to get a lot of mileage out of her fatness. I'd really like to parlay it into my job too, so that I could find a use for it. I'd like her fatness if she actually talked about fatness, but it's like Whiteness Studies that talks about not-whiteness... she's really talking about thinness... and that doesn't interest me nearly as much.

I never got into Ugly Betty... I decided it was a bit too American (something went beyond the pale???!!!???), because I'm Aushtraylian and we have such quality cultural product (Crocodile Dundee).

Great food options! I think the place that the boss and I worked out for our dirty weekend in New York (okay, not really, we're both just going there to look at the NMAI's terrible sister-museum) is in Chinatown and so we might have to check it out.

[theholyinnocent.livejournal.com]

she's really talking about thinness

Oh God, yes, you're totally right on the money about that. No wonder she's annoying me so much.

I never got into Ugly Betty...

If you like camp, you would have enjoyed it--or at least enjoyed it when it was good. The show did have an Aussie character--he was Vanessa Williams's semi-evil lover. They were ridiculously hot together and I actually enjoyed watching them make out, they were both so pretty and into each other.

the NMAI's terrible sister-museum

Oh, now I'm curious. What is this terrible museum?

If you do go to Chinatown, you HAVE to go to the Ice Cream Factory! It's fab.

[angharad_gov.livejournal.com]

hee-hee. i love ice cream shops where taro is considered a regular flavor and chocolate an exotic one :) do you know if their mango ice cream taste like mango or if it tastes like paint varnish?

belated happy b-day to your missus.

[theholyinnocent.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the belated b-day wishes!

I've never had the mango ice cream there, but I'd be surprised if it's bad. The red bean is good, and I love the green tea ice cream. We've never had anything bad there. Plus the folks who work there are always super nice, even though they deal with Lord knows how many customers every day. (the place is always busy!)

[angharad_gov.livejournal.com]

that's good to know that the green tea flavor is good (and they have red bean?!? wow. if i'm ever in the nyc area, i know where to go for ice cream. :) ) i always judge ice cream places on whether certain flavors taste they way they're supposed to or if the flavor is off or wrong. if a place serves mango ice cream, i try the mango. if they don't do mango, i always try either the vanilla or chocolate. if those flavors taste "off", i know that it's probably a store i won't visit again. :)

[softeranswer.livejournal.com]

i watched all of 10 min of Kirstie's show.

things that interested me: crazy clams, her house.

things i wanted them to focus on more: her house.

did you see that kitchen? gorgeous.

happy b-day to your Mrs.

[theholyinnocent.livejournal.com]

Thanks, J.! I tell you, I envy everyone's kitchen--we have the classic crappy NYC apartment kitchen. I would kill for a dishwasher.

[mantaraggio.livejournal.com]

ACK! I want to see! I am totally buying that issue tomorrow. I hope I can find a copy. The magazine stand is located under the gym where all the queens workout.

Haha, and I still think Vin Diesel is a homo, I don't care what Gawker says.

[sravenk.livejournal.com]

He totally is. He used to be spotted in the Cubby Hole every other week because he lived, like, next door or something. And I am pretty sure he wasn't there to pick up lezzies. Not with the twinky company he was keeping, anyway.

[softeranswer.livejournal.com]

he's totally gay. trufax.

[mantaraggio.livejournal.com]

ACK! My fears came true - the queens really did buy up every copy already!

[theholyinnocent.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah, Vin screams 'mo. Even Gawker can be wrong!

I hope you can find a copy of the mag...it's so funny. All these rooms with manly dark wood and...HUGE chandeliers.

[psimilarity.livejournal.com]

Gay manly style, that's my style. Will keep my eyes peeled for this issue that will be out here sometime in 2013.

[theholyinnocent.livejournal.com]

"Manly, but I like it too!"

[psimilarity.livejournal.com]

Psim = Born Manly (just by Fairy Bower):

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manly,_New_South_Wales

[theholyinnocent.livejournal.com]

Like Gerard Butler, it's lovely and manly! How nice you were so close to beaches growing up.