someone revoke my hipster credentials

[theholyinnocent]

In my online confessions...where I tell all the world I HATE JIM JARMUSCH MOVIES!

The missus had been on a roll with picking DVD rentals. (Okay, I was skeptical about The Day After Tomorrow when she rented it because normally I detest those bloated Hollywood epics, but it was entertaining, you gotta love it when NYC gets its ass kicked, yo.) But one night she returned with Coffee and Cigarettes and a cold chill settled in my tiny Grinch-like heart. (Imagine if Jim Jarmusch had made How the Grinch Stole Christmas: It would have been 30 black and white minutes of the Grinch (played by Tom Waits) sitting around in a diner and growling, "Goddamit, I fuckin' hate Christmas." Then Roberto Begnini would come in. "Ehhh, you no like the Baby Jesus?"...

Tom: It's not that. [1-minute pause. Begnini mugs for the camera.] I just don't like fuckin' Christmas, that's all.

Begnini: But the Baby Jesus...

Tom: [cocking head. Another one-minute pause.] They're singing in fuckin' Whoville again. Goddamnit.)

So anyway...I managed to sit through all of Coffee and Cigarettes if only because I couldn't help but marvel at:

1. How someone who has been making films for at least 20 years now can crank out something that seems like an undergraduate project at NYU.

2. How someone can make a conversation between Iggy Pop and Tom Waits excruciatingly dull. ("Well, what would Iggy Pop and Tom Waits talk about in real life?" asked Teh Wife. "Pussy," I said. Always the optimist, I am!)

3. How incredibly boring and repetitive it all was. Yes, it's nice to see motifs run through films and that can provide a certain richness to what's going on but having the same dialogue come out of different people's mouths doesn't necessarily supply that subtext or that extra level of interest, sometimes it is just boring and stupid. But what does, you ask? I don't know! I'm not the filmmaker!

Anyway, a couple days later we watched The Chronicles of Riddick and that made it all better. It was fun. I want Vin Diesel's goggles!

Comments

[heathers.livejournal.com]

Hahahahahahahahahahaha. Sucker! One of my film profs had a hard on for Jarmusch. It was unbearable. I think he was using the class as a testimonial to his l33t hipster status. Three-hour screening periods always included a stroking Jarmusch segment. <goes fetal>

Ahem.

Anyway... Have you seen Pitch Black? It's friggin' awesome. I haven't seen The Chronicles of Riddick but I heard it wasn't up to par with Pitch Black. Nonetheless, it's on my rental queue... one day they'll send it.

Also? My wife is still repenting for that whole Marci X incident. Keeeeeeerist.

-H

[theholyinnocent.livejournal.com]

Yeah, we saw Pitch Black and both of us liked it a lot, hence our interest in Riddick. It's true that the latter is not as good as the former; there's a lot of quasi-mystical blah blah blah that, upon close examination, didn't make a lot of sense. But the special effects seemed well done and the bad guy costumes were cool. Poor Judi Dench was wasted, though.

My wife is still repenting for that whole Marci X incident.

Hence exposing her underwears to us lot of lj pervs. :)

[cabenson.livejournal.com]

Okay, I was skeptical about The Day After Tomorrow when she rented it because normally I detest those bloated Hollywood epics, but it was entertaining, you gotta love it when NYC gets its ass kicked, yo.)
Uh yeah, I bought it because of the science and not because I enjoyed seeing the SoL go frigid like a repressed nun. Really.

the Grinch (played by Tom Waits) sitting around in a diner and growling, "Goddamit, I fuckin' hate Christmas." Then Roberto Begnini would come in. "Ehhh, you no like the Baby Jesus?"...
LOL.I think I just peed myself. Nope, wait...yes I did.

[theholyinnocent.livejournal.com]

Uh yeah, I bought it because of the science and not because I enjoyed seeing the SoL go frigid like a repressed nun. Really.

Uh-huh. Science.

I think I just peed myself. Nope, wait...yes I did.

I hope Mrs. CB put you in your Depends today!

[aqua-blurr.livejournal.com]

Hahaha! *crosses one movie off list, adds two others*

[noir-moll.livejournal.com]

I tried to be a good film student back in college and watch Jarmusch's films whenever they aired on IFC and the Sundance Channel, but I could never make it through one.

In my eyes, the best thing Jim has going for him is that he sounds a helluva lot like Lee Marvin.

[theholyinnocent.livejournal.com]

In my eyes, the best thing Jim has going for him is that he sounds a helluva lot like Lee Marvin.

And the hair. The hair is still pretty cool, I admit.