whose orgasm is it anyway?

[theholyinnocent]

Stumbled upon this article in the Times Online (UK) in which a 44-year-old woman laments the lack of orgasm in her sexual history. Twenty-odd lovers in her life (all male, I assume), and not a single orgasm. Well, maybe one, says she. She's not really sure.

"Oh Christ, oh bloody hell," as the colonel's daughter would say.

After reading the article (which I assume is some sort of excerpt from a book called Cutting Up Playgirl) I felt rather sorry for the poor thing. Wanted to make her tea, give her a maternal pat on the arm and perhaps suggest she try shagging women...of course, probably one of her evil ex-boyfriends forced some sort of humiliating threesome on her which left her scarred for life. Then I saw that surprisingly few of the comments were sympathetic toward her and since I am easily swayed (oh look, Kool-Aid! Is that rainbow dewdrops in them?), I started questioning my own sympathetic disposition. Gay/straight/whatev, we've all had our share of shitty sex encounters, and sometimes when you're with someone it does take a while to get things right, but...after so many years of smiling through horrible morning-afters (gratuitous, gauzy 70s flashback: There's GOT to be a morning after...) with men who behave like lizards (you need to read the article), I might consider hanging it up, so to speak, and keeping a steady date with a good vibrator. Or I might actually ask myself if, perhaps, there is something I'm doing (or not doing) that is contributing to that lack of satisfaction.

Or maybe I am just too focused on orgasms? Sex is about more than orgasms, isn't it? Yeah, I know, I'm just blowing smoke up your crack again.

Comments

[galaxyrabbit.livejournal.com]

I think she should start with shagging herself - because if she doesn't know what gets her off, how can she expect anyone else to figure it out? (Or if she does know, and tells these multitudes of lovers, and they ignore her, then she needs to rethink her selection mechanism.)

And yes, sex is about more than orgasms... but they're pretty damn important, in my opinion. If there is sex, and there is not at least one orgasm per person, then I myself would file that under "not-so-great sex" and resolve that next time better be soon and spectacular. (But maybe I am just spoiled by only shagging a girl?)

[theholyinnocent.livejournal.com]

(But maybe I am just spoiled by only shagging a girl?)

Ain't no maybe about it. :)