whose orgasm is it anyway?

[theholyinnocent]

Stumbled upon this article in the Times Online (UK) in which a 44-year-old woman laments the lack of orgasm in her sexual history. Twenty-odd lovers in her life (all male, I assume), and not a single orgasm. Well, maybe one, says she. She's not really sure.

"Oh Christ, oh bloody hell," as the colonel's daughter would say.

After reading the article (which I assume is some sort of excerpt from a book called Cutting Up Playgirl) I felt rather sorry for the poor thing. Wanted to make her tea, give her a maternal pat on the arm and perhaps suggest she try shagging women...of course, probably one of her evil ex-boyfriends forced some sort of humiliating threesome on her which left her scarred for life. Then I saw that surprisingly few of the comments were sympathetic toward her and since I am easily swayed (oh look, Kool-Aid! Is that rainbow dewdrops in them?), I started questioning my own sympathetic disposition. Gay/straight/whatev, we've all had our share of shitty sex encounters, and sometimes when you're with someone it does take a while to get things right, but...after so many years of smiling through horrible morning-afters (gratuitous, gauzy 70s flashback: There's GOT to be a morning after...) with men who behave like lizards (you need to read the article), I might consider hanging it up, so to speak, and keeping a steady date with a good vibrator. Or I might actually ask myself if, perhaps, there is something I'm doing (or not doing) that is contributing to that lack of satisfaction.

Or maybe I am just too focused on orgasms? Sex is about more than orgasms, isn't it? Yeah, I know, I'm just blowing smoke up your crack again.

Comments

[aleatory-6.livejournal.com]

Just got home and have five beers under my belt so excuse my candour. I'd be willing to bet a month's salary that this woman either has a poor body image and can't relax enough to enjoy herself or? Maybe she's Catholic. Who doesn't experience orgasm at a much younger age through er... self discovery unless you've been indoctrinated with the whole "it's dirty" or (my personal favourite) "you'll go blind" mantra that these brain-washed, guilt-ridden god-bothering types are so famous for? I refuse to believe a 44 year old woman hasn't tiptoed through the twolips at some stage in her life but I guess when she says "except one – possibly", you know she hasn't. Because, there's no "possibly" about it, girlfriend. I have sympathy if it's culture/religion that's deprived her but none if it's ignorance. Of course, 23 dud men in a row isn't out of the question either.

[theholyinnocent.livejournal.com]

I think you should drink & surf more often, dear. :)

Yeah, there was a lot that little snippet in the Times didn't address, no doubt for lack of space. I wasn't raised Catholic, but that particular religion does seem to do a real number on a lot of women when it comes to sex!

Of course, 23 dud men in a row isn't out of the question either.

Hee, I suppose not, but it's really bad luck if it is! We could ask Joanie, she probably encountered similar long droughts in her line o'work. (Now that's an advice column I would read: "Ask Joanie Stubbs." Of course, Cy would probably write in with rude psychotic questions all the time...listen to me babble, and I don't have the excuse of 5 beers either...)

[aleatory-6.livejournal.com]

Haha! Can you image Jane seeking advice? "I want you to 'go ahead and sponge my tits' and kiss me but I'm going to frame my requests in this dream sequence I had and be really ambiguous in a drunken, multiple run-on sentence kind of way. I'm gonna curse and deny and shake and waffle and avoid the question I really wanted to ask." Heh, we all (including Joanie) see right through you, Jane.

Btw, mine were light beers so I didn't really have an excuse either. :)